Depression is threatening to overwhelm me again... I will not let it overcome me.... I cant...
Why am I like that?.......
Do guys cry? Why can't guys cry?.....
I have been thinking for a very long time.... I think I'm not AJ.... never... I was never one from the beginning....
... I just expressed my love in a very different way...
Its not me... Its the world... Its culture...
Why can't a guy hug another guy?
Why can't a guy kiss another guy?
Why can't a guy cry on the shoulder of another guy?
These are all just mere expressions of care, concern and love... Each of a different intensity...
To be brothers... There is more then just the blood, the sweat and the bold sacrifice....
It's reaching into each other's heart and feeling it... It is accepting that another guy cares for you, possibly more then you care for him...
Its not GAY...
Homosexuality. What on earth is it? It is to SEXUALLY DESIRE. another person of the same sex...
I've never ever sexually desired a guy before... ( to put it pretty grossly ) ....
Its the confusion that many guys have, that having SEX = Love... Which is completely wrong....
When I hug another guy... that person has to have a special place in my heart....
but... why am I not attracted to the other side too?.... maybe.. I'm not big enough yet....
sigh...
Today was the test on Law...
It was pretty ok... As usual.. I knew the answers, but I couldn't write it out... haha (can you read out the words I'm using to comfort myself?)
It was generally ok lah... I could do everything...
Hmm.. I've got most of my ideas planned out for my DMA movie already....
BUT... I have to use Final Cut Pro to do out everything.... AHH!!
Its CHEEM... (dialect for "DAMM DIFFICULT!!!")
MMR presentation is coming up next.... BooOo hoo.
I hope that we'll be able to keep up a good standard....
THe most frightening thing that can happen now is to realize that we're on the wrong track...
bleahz....
She smiled at me today.... does she feel differently too? I hope she still hopes....
Coz.... I havnt felt the same way... about a person so long... for so long...
am I worthy enough?... i'm jus so unsure....
No comments:
Post a Comment